Testimony COMING SOON!!!
Subject: |
In the meantime, a throwback.....
Saturday January 29th 1pm- 4pm @ Italian Affair Hosted by Doors of Growth |
---|---|
Date: | 2021-12-23 01:06 |
Hi Every One-
Merry Christmas!! I am deeply touched by the responses, care, support and love I have received from each and every one you. I have invited about 75 people. Please know this is a thought-out boundary crossing and a bit unconventional. The boundary crossing touches on lack of confidentiality, as most of you invited have been past or current clients. Because of this, I completely understand not attending and no offense will be taken.
Please know, meals and drinks are included and my treat. All of you that know me, know that integrity, transparency, authenticity, accountability and willingness to engage in conflict (great opportunity to practice using your authentic voice) are traits in myself, and others that make me feel safe, and able to practice as I do.
There are a several intentions for this event.
- to share my story. (there may be some things coming out in the next year that I prefer for you to hear from me). Nothing illegal on my end. LOL! Most of you know parts of my history already.
- to address the lack of mental health awareness and services, disparity in care and the continued Mental Health Crisis in both children and adults that is not being properly addressed and acknowledged.
- I find that my clients often feel lonely in their Therapeutic Journey as not many professionals treat, or are knowledgeable of the Narcissistic Family System.
- Four-I have a plan to help, and I need honest, direct, feedback about me, the venture I will be starting in order to address the disparity of care and meet community need.
- to say thank you, return the gift of vulnerability you all have given me.
Giuseppe at Italian Affair has been gracious enough to host this event at his restaurant in Glassboro! It will be from 1pm-4pm on the patio. There will be an open bar.
A few things to refresh upon before attending:
All of you have the same foundation of learning-
- No such thing as bad people, except for psychopaths. Separate people from their behavior. Our consistent behaviors define us, not our inconsistent ones.
- All behaviors are purposeful, we all are capable of, and most of us have engaged in all the same behaviors, and all behaviors are measured on the spectrum ranging from toxic to tonic.
- Feelings are the language of Unity. Details the language of Division. Without being taught the language of feelings, conflict resolution is virtually impossible.
- Mom/Dad and Parenting are two different things. No such thing as "bad Moms or Dads." Mom and Dad are separate from Parenting. Mom and Dad are an eternal state of being, whereas Parenting is an act of service and a skill that needs to be learned, practiced and approached from a continual state of growth. We learn how to parent how we were parented, without ever questioning if the parenting we learned was appropriate? Functional? Productive? and Effective? If you learn how to be a mechanic from an incompetent mechanic, you will then have produced another incompetent mechanic.
- The Narcissistic Family System (NFS)- Most of us were raised in it. Hallmark of NFS is One supreme Reality in house (Typically the parent that would score higher on the Narcissism Scale), Devoid of Emotional Landscape, Financial and Material provisions trump all else. Feelings are not necessary and to make another feel uncomfortable feelings, means you have done something wrong and are a bad person. Gaslighting, Unintentional Psychological Abuse. Image. Conformity. Parents needs above child's needs (domestic violence in house, not treating own mental health issues, staying in unhealthy relationships, inability to regulate emotions and reactions, lack of boundaries, structure and routine, enmeshment, enabling (doing for others what they can do for themselves), etc.)
- Ableism- suck it up, you're fine, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ableism
-
The NFS causes unintentional Psychological Trauma and people pleasing is the survival mechanism (conformity and compliance are expected.) Trauma from the NFS is generational and accepted as normal rather than dysfunctional.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-narcissist-in-your-life/202003/the-12-rules-dysfunctional-narcissistic-family
https://narcissistfamilyfiles.com/2017/01/26/the-narcissist-family-its-cast-of-characters-and-glossary-of-terms/
https://themindsjournal.com/the-narcissistic-family-tree/ -
All folks from the NFS tend to see things in black/white and all or nothing thinking which is the cognitive level of children under the age of 11-12. Past the age of 11-12, children are supposed to develop an abstract level of thinking.
In the NFS communication is ineffective, and conflict avoidance is valued to great detriment. - Object Constancy is lacking- https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/what-is-object-constancy-and-how-does-it-affect-people/
- Feelings are neither good, nor bad. They are also measured on a spectrum ranging from uncomfortable to comfortable.
I am so very excited and grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you for your consideration in attending.
My only request is to please respect the confidentiality of my project and my story. Again, I am deeply grateful for each of you and it has been my greatest pleasure to be able to be a part of your journey.
Please RSVP by January 1st 2022. Also please note if you will be attending alone or with your spouse.
Some additional viewing that describes the heart of my personal and professional practice for the past 2 decades:
https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Nobody-Jamie-Catto/dp/B081W54KYS